Parents Just Don’t Understand New

Parent chill'n by Nick Diamantidis

Have you seen that Allstate commercial? The one where the college age son tries to explain the damage he’s caused to the family car by first explaining the Allstate app? “It’s an app, you know what an app is right?” The son asks. Does this sound like a cheap shot taken at the (slightly) older generation? An exaggeration scripted purely for entertainment value? I wish. Julia Roberts once gave my mother a digital camera. She gave it to my sister because she “knows nothing about technology”. Truer words were never spoken… Remember that episode of the Flintstones where they do a crossover with the Jetsons? My life. And I get the feeling that I’m not alone, do your parents (or any adult over 55) do:


  1. Respond to a Text Message With a Phone Call: The point of texting is to communicate without actually having to talk to anyone! But yet, time after time, my mother responds to my text with a phone call. Did you just call me Mar?” “No mom, that’s precisely what I was trying to avoid.


  1. What Does the E in E-Mail Stand For? And other crazy questions you are laughing way to hard to answer. ” If I save an e-mail to my phone, won’t it interfere with my text messages?” Seriously, I can’t…


  1. Your Phone is a Camera?! Your phone takes pictures? Yes. It takes pictures? The phone?? Yes. You mean, you can actually take a picture with your phone??? ::sigh:: This (not nearly as funny) rendition of Who’s on First brought to you by the generation that grew up on Abbot and Costello…


  1. Google Can be a Di*ck: My mom is an artist. She decided to search for a little girl reading a book. She wanted a back view of this image so she Googled: little girl view from back. Any guesses on what came up?_
  2. Love, in 140 Characters: That awkward moment when a tweet makes You Smile and is accompanied by commentary (usually from the store clerk you’re ignoring) “Aww, a love note from your beau? I can’t remember the last time I received a love note.” Neither can we….


  1. That Was Then, This is Now: Notice how a lot of movies set in the 80’s or early 90’s feature a high school reunion?


  1. One More Thing About Email: A conversation with an older co-worker led to a stunning revelation: people still write letters! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good stationary set as much as the next woman but when my co-worker asked when last I received a letter that didn’t involve my smartphone, I had to think really hard.


  1. Arsenio Hall’s Favorite Disney Movie is Finding Nemo! How do I know this?! He told me! Rather, he tweeted a poll asking what everyone’s favorite Disney Movie was. I posed mine (Frozen) and he liked it and posted Finding Nemo as his! When I tried to tell this story to my mom she couldn’t grasp how Twitter let you communicate with stars. You’d think someone who works on movie sets for a living would know that stars are people too…


  1. #Huh???: Last week I was in a store when I overheard a conversation that went as follows; person 1 (about 24): “Let me tell you gurl, I am sick and tired of this man. He got himself locked up again! Gurl, how he expect me to take care of these damn kids?” Person 2 (also about 24): He got locked up again?! Gurl you need to tell that man somethin… Person 3 (about 55) interjecting: Wow, you guys are from the streets! (That’s a direct quote, I could not make that up!). Person 1 to person 3: #RealTalk. Person 3: What does hashtag mean?? Which is ironic because hashtag is the only thing in that conversation that I understood!


  1. 10. Everything old is new again: Remember when grocery shopping was simple? Cart, list, items, done. Easiest thing ever. Now, paying for food, (or anything for that matter) is like trying to solve a Rubric cube. Insert the card where??? Which way does it go?? Press what? Wait! I don’t want to donate $100 to the National Yodeling Day fund? (Why is there a national yodeling day???). All I want is to pay for my groceries and go! Next time I’ll pay cash. Sometimes, lo-tech is the way to go.


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