Why Aren’t We Talking More About the Serious Possible Outcome of Bullying? Staying mentally connected to the anticipation of being bullied, actually being bullied and recovering from having been bullied is an exhausting cycle resulting in adverse effects. The emotional beat down of being tormented is a feeling that becomes second nature to the person being bullied. The myriad of on-going thoughts and fears about the person(s) taunting them is in constant motion in the mind of the bullied.
Staying mentally connected to the negative feelings that come as a result of being bullied-feeling left out, being made fun of, humiliation, rejection, and aggression- changes that person. Without realizing it, the person being bullied starts to subtly mimic the behaviors of the bully.
5 Ways the bullied person starts acting “as if” they are a bully:
1. Fighting in their head. The bullied person thinks harsh thoughts about themselves and this leads to entertaining those bad thoughts about others.
2. Subtle mood changes. Feeling more irritable and edgy. A nagging feeling of not feeling like their normal self that leads to feeling detached and lonely.
3. Attaching worry and fear to every part of life. The ones being bullied unfortunately lose peace of mind. Their thoughts become increasingly more self-defeating.
4. Problem solving is a problem. The bullied become overwhelmed and anxious; resulting in loss of confidence in decision making and problem solving.
5. Loss and Confusion. Confusion about identity leads to acting out as a response to pain.
Bullying behaviors are difficult to resolve because of lack of self-awareness. Overcoming our blind spots and noticing what is happening in our inner world could be life changing. Self-awareness allows us to know if we are responding or reacting in the right way.