Introverts And Dating

10 Point User Guide

When it comes to dating, there are rules. Rules about how long to wait before you call someone (three days or immediately, depending on who you ask), rules for when and how you disclose your past, there are even rules depending on the type of person you date. For example, if the object of your affection tends to be a bit…high strung (read: dramatic) you might want to make sure your grip on reality is secure….and that you have a drinking buddy on speed dial. If, on the other hand, you’re dream date is outgoing and thrives on being the life of the party, otherwise known as an extrovert, you’d better be able to keep up! On the other hand, if you find yourself attracted to an introvert:


1. Be Prepared to Make a Hasty Getaway: Don’t be alarmed if your introvert wants to leave a party early. It’s not that they aren’t having a great time, it’s just that they would have an even better time if they were at home. Watching Married With Children from underneath my Frozen blanket is the best party of all.

2. Don’t Call Us. Ever. : The smartphone. Arguably the best invention of the last century. We love that it puts the Internet in our pocket and allows us to pin with wild abandon but, does it have to allow phone calls? Facebook? Great. Skype? Fine. Text? Of course! But call? What is this, 1992?

3. Arguments = Death: For an introvert, an argument is like that vacuum cleaner in Spaceballs (am I dating myself?), it sucks the air out of the atmosphere around us. It might as well be a force of nature, a tornado we see in the distance and take elaborate steps to avoid. Fight? We’d might as well wade through quicksand.

4. It’s Not You, It’s Us: If we don’t accompany you to the bar every time or blow off your friend’s shindig it’s not that we’re angry with you or you did anything wrong (more than likely) it’s just that people are a lot of work. And if we’re quiet it’s not that we don’t want to talk, we’re most likely thinking about cats….

5. We’re Not Impressed With Typical Date Ideas: Flowers, candy, dinner and a movie, all good but if you really want to make an impression on us challenge us to a game of trivial pursuit (though you’re likely to lose), take us to a concert or a cooking class, anything that gives us insight into who you really are.

6. Come to the Dark Side, We Have PI: Embrace our quirkiness and we’ll be yours forever.

7. Silence is Golden, Even When in a Crowd: With things like the Philharmonic and Swan Lake and the creation of events such as Quiet Clubbing, it’s completely possible to enjoy “together time” without all of that mindless chatter. Keep this in mind…

8. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder: I guarantee the concept of long distance relationship was introduced by an introvert. All of the perks of a relationship with built in alone time? Where do I sign up?

9. Yes, We’re Alone, But We’re Alone and Free: The simple fact is, we thrive on our own energy, which means that we’re at our best when we’re by ourselves. Sorry!

10. Wait, is That a Red Flag?: We know that relationships take work and if we’re in a good one we will go the distance. However, we are on constant alert for volatile situations; Are you prone to public displays of aggression? Is jealously an issue for you? We tend to be hyper sensitive when it comes to adverse situations. In the words of Megan Trainor, “if that’s what you’re into, then go ahead and move along.”

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