Written by April Ibarra
Let’s be honest, who really knows how to be single? We are genetically programmed to find that one person in life who you will spend eternity with. We go through life looking for someone to make us happy because, according to Disney and chick flicks, the only way to be happy is to fall in love. How can you make someone happy if you cannot even be happy by yourself? How do you love someone without limitations if you don’t love yourself implicitly? You cannot.
In today’s society, we are surrounded by direct communication with others. You can tweet, Facebook, and Snapchat where ever you are, and how ever you look. These direct links to everyone has limited the way to be single today. You can hook up or find relationships at just a click of a button, but happiness is not guaranteed. It is so important to be single for a good time in your life and learn about yourself. Find out who you are and embrace that about yourself. Do things you love by yourself or with friends. This will build a foundation of who you are and what you like in life. Fall in love with yourself and all those imperfections you thought were so unattractive. Take the time to be you and love who you have become, and when the time comes, you won’t morph into what you think the other person wants you to be. They would have fallen in love with the person you already were.
I’m 35 and have been single for almost 3 years. I was in a relationship for most of my life with the same guy. I hated being single. What I noticed after our break up is that I had turned into someone I didn’t even know. I hated myself. I thought I needed someone to make me happy, so I would rush into the arms of guys who only wanted to get me into bed, or guys who would ultimately hurt me. After several attempts at failed relationships, I knew I had to change something. I reevaluated myself and noted that I was a lot happier single. There was no drama.
Since my reevaluation more than a year ago, I have been pursuing my own joys and enjoying the people in my life who already make me happy, like my kids. I have a lot less stress in life, and I’m a lot happier. I changed my way of thinking, and I am finally happy being single. Yes, I get lonely from time to time, but doesn’t everyone? I just surround myself with loved ones and life is good again. I won’t allow myself to settle, ever again, and when I do meet “the one”, it won’t be forced. The person I end up with will love me for me, and I won’t lose myself again. I am finally happy being me, and I pretty much rock!