Ugh, TMI dude! This reaction is usually reserved for friends who are really proud of the fact that they have a sex life or co-workers who want you to know that they had a better weekend than you. But for a lot of us, this sediment explains what some people think is normal conversation. For instance:
1. Showcasing your kidney stones (or any bodily function) on Facebook, Twitter, and especially, Instagram:
What happens in the bathroom needs to stay there.
2. Medical Updates: If you are unfortunately afflicted with a major disease, you should most definitely share such tragedy with your network. However, no one needs to hear that you have boils on your feet or left your latest hook up with a little “something extra”.
3. We’ve already discussed bathroom talk but it needs to be said that what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom applies to your kid too: We get it, your kid’s a genius and everything they do is amazing but, while it’s true that everybody poops, everyone doesn’t need to know about it.
4. The unnecessary check in:
Checking in at your job, grocery store, and gym is pointless. Besides, it takes all of the fun out of stalking you…
5. Talking/complaining about the weather:
Yes, we know it’s freaking cold. We live here too. No need to point out the temperature. Unless, of course, you’re Al Roker, cause everything that guy does is awesome.
6. Announcing basic human needs: i.e.: I’m tired. I’m hungry.
I’m plotting your demise but you don’t see me posting about it…
7. Public display of anger: “Just went through my BF’s phone and found out that he’s still talking to…”
Yeah, if you could just go ahead and not drag the rest of us into your fights, that’d be great.
8. Rants. Especially if it’s a racist, sexist, or extreme political rant.
9. As previously, stated, work check-ins need to stop…and so do “breaking news, up-to-the-minute” updates about work (or anything else). On my break. Ugh! Customers! Long line @ the food court FML.
How do you have time to post all these statuses? Shouldn’t you be, oh, I don’t know, working?
10. Currently my iPad is splattered with soy sauce, collateral damage in making Peking pork for dinner. This will be the only evidence that the meal ever existed. I will make it through prep, consumption, and clean up without posting a single picture. That’s right; there will be no pictures of my dinner, tonight or ever. Why? BECA– — — USE NO ONE CARES WHAT I HAD FOR DINNER. I’ve made my peace with this. So should you.
It’s not that we don’t care about every nuance of your everyday lives…actually, that’s it exactly, we don’t care, we really don’t. So stop.
By: Mar-Li Pitcher
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