Dating: Now vs. Then


Written By: Valerie Figueroa

The dating landscape has changed so much over the last 10 years, let alone the last 30 years. Gone are the days of knowing someone on your block for your whole life and marrying them because there really is no one else. Or that chance encounter on a trip to an exotic destination only exists in romantic movies. The ability to meet and fall in love with someone on the other side of the globe is completely possible now with access to free applications that allow for video chatting, emailing, instant messaging, and so on.

* I Need A Text Now!

Today, we need instant gratification. If we send a text, we expect an immediate response. This was not the case 30 years ago. Many of us remember sitting by the phone, waiting for the boy that we gave our number to call. Remember when you used to check the phone cord to see if it was still connected to the wall because he still had not called yet? Or remember in the 90’s, we had cordless phones and were able to sneak off to our bedrooms to finally have a private conversation with our boyfriend. Then when the power died after about five hours, you pulled the phone with the cord into your room. Now, conversations are mostly through texting. We have dating apps like Tinder that allow us to automatically decide whether you want to swipe left (not your type) or right (totally your type). Then you send each other messages if you are a match and start a texting conversation that can go on for days or hours until you decide to finally meet in person.

* From Dating on The Block To Dating Across The Globe

Courting is a thing of the past. Many would say that chivalry is dead, however, I still think there are remnants of it in some men (thank goodness!) I will say that it is still hard for a man to ask a woman out because there is a possibility of rejection but I believe it was much harder before than now. Before, there was no possibility you could hide your reaction behind an email or text, you were face to face or on the phone. Now, men barely go to your parent’s home, knock on the door, and have the dreaded meeting with your dad. It’s like we gained independence from our parents, now that we are moving out of houses sooner than before. The goals in dating have changed from finding love to whether you can get laid. It’s like our morals have lessened since the days our parent’s dated. We are now going to a guy’s apartment to “Netflix and chill,” which is essentially a booty call. Now, it is completely acceptable to date more than one person at a time. With the advent of online dating sites, it is very likely you’ll meet more than one person who peaks your interest. So why not have 5 texting conversations with those prospects? You can say that you’re “talking” or “seeing someone” before you commit to mutual exclusivity. Yes, it is possible you could be dating someone now who is dating someone else.

* I’m Sorry, I Can’t Have A Normal Relationship

In the past, couples used to live in their parent’s homes or on their own while in a relationship. It was not until they were engaged or married they would move in together. This ideal is crazy now. Personally, it’s like taking a test drive and knowing whether you can deal with your significant other before taking the ultimate plunge, marriage. Breaking up a relationship has changed today as well. It is completely normal to break up via text message. I think this is just as bad as Berger breaking up with Carrie on Sex and the City on a post-it note, however it is being done. People now argue via text message. It is crazy to think that even my in-laws are doing this and they were married over 30 years ago. I just could never understand how you would decipher a text message if you cannot hear the tone in their voice.

The Internet has changed dating forever. Millennials expect instant gratification with arguments, discussions, seeing someone’s photo, finding a mate, and so much more. I would never want to go back to waiting next to the phone for a boy’s call. But I would love to take back the old fashioned ideals of courting. Romance is still not dead.



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