“And for those who try to tell you that you: never, don’t, can’t, won’t”… A quote from an episode of Ghostwriter, a favorite TV show of mine from back in the day. In this particular episode the message was to “be who you are.” However, what’s really funny is that I think this message is needed more, now as adults when we are under so much pressure to be normal, read: like everyone else. But, I can think of a few reasons not to adhere to this, 15 in fact:
Some days I dress entirely in pink sparkles, other days I’m Wednesday Addams. Which one is the real me? Both. Whoever you feel you are at the moment run with it.
Some people insist on playing the understudy in their own lives. They are constantly walking around on their tiptoes, whispering and afraid of upsetting the proverbial apple cart.
Don’t be one of them! Have a milkshake for breakfast, go to a Disney movie…by yourself…at 30, and if for some reason you feel the need to wear orange and pink together…go for it! Exist on your terms, yours and yours alone.
There is something you were put on this earth to do…and it’s rarely what others tell you it is. It’s the thing that plays on constant repeat in the back of your mind, the thing you dream about while you’re awake.
Don’t allow your actual thing is to take a backseat to what everyone else thinks your thing should be.
Surround yourself with people who enhance who you are.
We all have that one person in our lives who knows everything about us…and likes us anyway! Spend as much time as possible with these people…and avoid those “soul stealers”; you know, those people who say things like “Wow! I didn’t know you were expecting!” (When they know very well that you’re not). And “Aren’t you too old for cartoons?” No one is too old for cartoons! You don’t need these types of people in your life.
My grandfather is famous for saying it’s not what you want to do, it’s what you have to do.
Truer words were never spoken however; you need to be clear on what it is that you have to do. You have to go to work. You have to pay bills. You do not have to settle for anything less than your heart’s desire. You do not have to feel ashamed of your race, gender, sexual orientation, economic status, favorite color, or your deep love of flattened bottle caps. The things that make you who you are should be celebrated, not apologized for.
Have you ever had a moment when you are extremely proud of yourself for performing a seemingly minor task? You know, you manage to get up before your alarm goes off and you celebrate like you made the winning touchdown?
Party like it’s 1999, every accomplishment is cause for celebration, especially if it’s the first step towards something big. Don’t let anyone deny you your moments of bliss.
“I’m just teasing, lighten up!”
This infuriating phrase is usually spoken by someone who’s idea of humor is harsh criticisms; throwing in “The I’m just teasing” in hopes that you’ll overlook their meanness. Don’t.
Be aware of “psychological cults”; any person/group/organization that aims to guilt you into living as they deem fit.
To thine own self be true.
This quote from William Shakespeare may be the single best guideline for life. Be aware of both your strengths and weaknesses and use both to your advantage.
It’s been said that you should find your “other half”, someone who “completes you.” This is the exact opposite of what you need.
Instead, seek out the one who embraces the fact that you are already complete just as you are. This person is priceless.
One of the worst things in this world is the pressure to “fit in.” Do I have the right clothes? The right hair? Enough money?
The pursuit of these things has literally driven people crazy. Don’t be one of them. You are more than enough, just as you are.
One of my favorite songs is Say What You Need to Say by John Myer. “Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken, even if your eyes are closing…do it with a heart wide open…say what you need to say…”
This does not mean speak just to fill the silence, but if you feel you have something meaningful to add don’t be discouraged by what others might think, say what you need to say!
From the time we’re able to hold a thought that we’re expected to take sides. Which color do you like best? Who’s your best friend? Baseball or football? Democrat or Republican?
Not only are we expected to choose but, more importantly, we are expected to make the right choice. As if there is such a thing. The “right” choice is whatever is right for you. Always be yourself…unless you can be a cat, then always be a cat.
Some days your life is a Taylor Swift song; some days it’s the plot to Groundhog’s Day. It’s called balance; embrace it.
Remember the golden rule? (Treat others how you want to be treated). What ever happened to that??
While preserving your self worth is indeed a full time job, keep in mind that everyone else is fighting a similar battle. As Author Robert Fulgum writes “Everybody has secret goals in life…” Useful information, especially when it comes to dealing with one another…
Written By: Mar-li Pitcher
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